If Biblical Headlines were written by today’s Liberal Media

Something a little less serious for the end of the week. Actually, it’s not too far off the mark…. 😉 H/t Timbob and Word For It.

On Red Sea crossing:

WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

——————————————————————————–

On David vs. Goliath:

HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

——————————————————————————–

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:

FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed

——————————————————————————–

On the birth of Christ:

HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

——————————————————————————–

On feeding the 5,000:

PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

——————————————————————————–

On healing the 10 lepers:

LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED
“Faith Healer” Causes Bankruptcy

——————————————————————————–

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:

MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer’s Investment Lost

——————————————————————————–

On raising Lazarus from the dead:

FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed

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5 Responses to If Biblical Headlines were written by today’s Liberal Media

  1. paddy says:

    And then we’d have for our subsequent lib-speak Church News

    Ananias and Sapphira-Local Land Speculators die under mysterious circumstances

    Paul and Elymas-Insensitive Christian ‘missionary’ causes fellow clergyman’s sight loss

    Paul and Barnabas in Pisidian Antioch and Iconium- Jewish Defense League joins with
    Iconian Junior League to protest Christian missionaries

  2. white rabbit says:

    Speaking of strange headlines what does http://www.anglicansablaze.blogspot mean with the headline Canadian Care of Dissenting Churches Inadequate?” What care does a bishop give to any church? All we do is pay a fine each month for belong to a diocese. I doubt very much that my little church cares what the bishop does or say any more than we care what the CEO does or says at our places of work. And the bishop can’t fire us for he needs the money – to be crude.
    Working my way through university I had to move the furniture in the office every time a new boss came in and before you new it the furniture was back where it began. So as for me, I’m just sitting tight while the incumbents and the dissidents fight it out for the high seats.

  3. Peter says:

    Y’know, it does sometimes appear that way. I was encouraged at the Network conferecne when they said that they planned on it being the other way round from now on – that the diocese exists for the parishes and not the other way round. It will be good if it comes to pass!

  4. mrsfalstaff says:

    Exactly, White Rabbit, that is the problem. The Bishop is supposed to provide leadership, and all the leadership of the ACoC is doing is leading us off a cliff. As far as the diocese existing for the parishes and not the other way round in the ANiC – I think it’ll happen. I have great trust in the Network leaders.

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